Hi lovely readers,
It is so exciting to read all of your insightful and encouraging comments when I post these days, and to see I have some new readers, as well. I want to say thank you for your interest in my blog, and my experiential advice, and I hope that you are either finding some of the things I post relatable or helpful. Recently I made a post on my personal Instagram articulating that I realize I’ve been really consumed by recovery-related things, including representing myself as someone who is only defined by constantly working on their mental health and addiction recovery, and that I want to explore more aspects of who I am again. I still want to use my blog for one of its intended purposes, which to is to share what I’m learning about my own recovery such that others might find inspiration or information that applies to them that they might otherwise not have been exposed to, or simply to create a space where others with mental health concerns might feel less isolated, so please don’t interpret this post as meaning that will come to a half. If that’s what you’re here to read, then I hope you don’t mind picking and choosing from a wider variety of posts based on what suits you.
However, I want to do a bit of a blog refresh, in the sense that there are old posts that I feel expressed how I felt or my interpretations of lessons to be learned at the time, but that I do not best feel represent the things I believe to be true with greater experience and upon further reflection. I also want to start including things that relate to experiences totally separate from my mental illness, trauma history, and recovery from substance use – things that are just personal life lessons that could perhaps still apply to a wider breadth of readers’ lives, that don’t have much to do with mental illness specifically, things I just enjoy sharing and learning like the lifestyle content I used to post, and I’m hoping to return to sharing some of my own photography within those posts, because that was really fun for me, and because I think it makes posts more visually interesting. And when I share about mental health centered topics, I’m going to do so after I’ve given myself time to really consider my sources, my experiences, do some research, and expand what I share beyond the pretty personal stories that I use to demonstrate evidence for my points. I love having a sacred place to let people into aspects of who I am, but I want to do so in a more well-rounded way, and with a little more respect for my own privacy. I never use names that would make someone I don’t know outside of the blogging world aware of who I might be talking somewhat negatively about, and even people I know who are also readers don’t typically have any immediate assumptions with the level of detail I use, typically. I encourage vulnerability, but this the internet, it’s some people’s first impressions of me, and I want it to be a little bigger-picture around here. Sometimes I write posts in the heat of a moment, which is often when I’m having a very legitimate, logical realization about something or when I’ve just found something that works for me in certain situations, but often that has meant that I go into more detail about things in my life, past and present, that I really want to keep between my therapist, best friend and I. Aside from one or two people who haven’t been in my life for a long time anyway leaving mean comments, there are no comments that make me feel judged or misunderstood for what I’ve written so far that’s been really vulnerable, so this isn’t a reaction to anything like that, or a mistrust of the really awesome community I seem to have found here, but it’s something I need to do for myself, while I’m figuring some things out and finding balance where it’s needed.
There is a part of me that wants to apologize for making these changes, but I’m working on respecting my own needs and the decisions that result, and articulating boundaries within myself and in my relationships, and I am just going to say that if my blog does not appeal to you with these adjustments, then that’s totally okay and I won’t be offended by an unfollow. But first and foremost, this is my space to express myself in a way that makes me feel empowered, respected, and just plain ol’ happy, the way it used to and including some of the new ways I’ve discovered writing posts and reading the way they’re responded to lately.
Change is scary, in my experience, always, but during that awkward uncomfortable adjustment period we learn a lot through trial and error, and then the end product is usually better, for everyone! There are a lot of things that are in a period of transition in my life, and I began those transitions by basically ‘ripping off the bandaid’ and making some big first moves. So I’m hopeful that my readers will decide to keep reading if still enjoy my content, in which case I appreciate your patience and open-mindedness, and I entirely respect that some of you guys may not. but if this is my last post you decide to check out, I want to say thank you for having read thus far and helped me in my journey by supporting silently or through comments and likes, and for making this a really wonderfully safe creative space for me.
Lots of love, and warm wishes sent your way for an end to quarantine wherever you are and whenever that is for you, and for your health and happiness,